I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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