Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You ate ashes out of my bong
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
