the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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