I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize