yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
