It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
BRING THE BAGELS
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
