you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it was like eating out sand paper
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
