i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize