First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
