I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
