I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
