Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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