As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
