I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
