The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
