Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
