Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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