That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
