Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
