Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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