then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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