I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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