I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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