just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
