I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
