Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize