Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
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