Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And then my night got REAL pukey
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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