Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
