If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He felt like a one man threesome
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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