All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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