Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
