We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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