I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
