Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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