porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
