is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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