he wants to bone in the snuggie
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
