dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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