A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
