Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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