wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
