Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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