saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Let's paint friendship bongs
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
