You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
