lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
