He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
