glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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