my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
