You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize