We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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