Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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