just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize