Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
mondays should just be called national damage control day
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
