Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
