I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
