i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
