Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize