I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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