don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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