508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
