So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I didn't notice because vodka
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
