I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
