i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
