so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
