Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize