I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize