the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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