hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
