And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
