I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
The adults are the big ones right?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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