So drunk its hurt
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
