new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
