Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
