I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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