I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
