This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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