East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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