my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
