hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
