I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize