Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
